Inside all of us is someone who wants to say,

‘I Want To Be Myself!’

The key word there is, Inside.

Are we brave enough to start revealing that person hiding inside?

In this post I will look at these issues -

1. Who is this person called ‘Myself’?
2. What will have to happen for you To Be Myself?

This reader wrote, ‘My Bucket List – Be Myself – Always!’

So… How Do You Do It?

1.   Who is this person you call ‘Myself’?

When you say you want to be yourself, you’re saying,

• ‘I want to be free’… to make choices without being influenced by what others think you should do.

Choices such as -

lifestyle, fashion style, having and expressing opinions, self expression, creativity, job, study, relationships.

You want to make all these choices and not to have to feel fettered by what others say, to advise or influence the choices, (unless you ask for their input.)

When you say you want to be yourself, you’re saying,

Are you a worrier?

We all worry at times.

It’s natural.

But some of us allow our worries to dominate our lives.

Every new step seems beset with the barbed wire of worry and we stay ‘stuck’.

Today I’m taking a closer look at ‘worry’, to see what you can do to prevent it keeping you in its claws.

Here are 10 things that you might worry about :

1. losing your job
2. the end of the world     (But ‘what if…?”)
3. illness
4. dying
5. being in debt
6. your washing being ruined by the rain (yes, you do…)
7. having a ‘bad hair day’ (men also!)
8. being unattractive
9. getting older
10. exams

Do any of these ring any bells for you?

• Why do you worry?

Fear is at the root of all 10 worries.

Fear of …

1. being unemployed
2. Armageddon
3. not getting better
4. being unable to cope
5. death
6. not getting your wishing dry (I know, it’s silly, but…)
7. looking unattractive
8. not finding a partner
9. ageing
10. failing

Worry is caused by the fear of being ‘eaten by the wolf’.

• Should you stop worrying?

After all, it’s not all bad, is it?

Worry alerts you to something that might happen.

It can help you to prepare for a problem.

We all react to pending problems with a tinge or more of worry.

It’s healthy to be aware that we’re not invincible.

Allow yourself to worry for a while but then you have to make this key decision -

• Can you change/improve/prevent the situation you’re worrying about?

Look again at my list of 10 things you might worry about.

For each ‘worry’, decide if you can do anything about it.

• Are there any steps you can take to help the situation?

Yes?

Then make a start.

Take one step towards lessening your worry. Then another. And another.

Result?

The worry becomes less. You have taken control. Worrying has done its job of alerting you but now its job is done.

No?

Then all you’re doing is making yourself suffer.

Result?

You worry bucket will overflow.

Your life will become stunted, restricted, less of a life because it’s flooded with worry.

You’ll remain stuck, unable to move forward, to enjoy new experiences, all because you allow worry to cloud your days.

Sadly, the only person who can prevent this happening is… you.

• Try to replace your worry with a positive emotion.

We screw up our faces.

We dig our nails into our clenched fists.

We frown.

We bite our nails.

Worry lines appear.

Not good!

If we can learn to replace worrying with excitement at trying something new instead of fearing it, eager anticipation instead of anxiety, a positive plan to deal with the situation instead of dreading it, then the worry will fade.

‘Every cloud has a silver lining’ may well be a cliche, but it can be true.

• Redundancy can bring new opportunities,
• illness can bring out our hidden strengths,
• a ‘bad hair day’?  well. Need I say more?

Next time you feel a ‘worry‘ lurking in the shadows, just decide if there’s anything you can do the situation.

And … do it…

If there’s nothing to be done, don’t waste one more precious moment of your life struggling in the ‘worry trap’.

Just… let it go.

How about you?

• What are you worried about at the moment?
• What are you going to do about it?

 photo credit: vapour trail

Can the end of the world be predicted?

Some respected theologians and historians believe it can.

I guess we won’t be here to know if they’re right!

Today I read this fascinating post by Lori of ‘Life, for instance’, with many varying and illuminating views in the Comments.

Lori’s post inspired me to think about -

What If… The End Of The World IS Nigh?

How will I spend my last days?

Will I rush around like a headless chicken and get nowhere?

I came to the conclusion that -

There is only Today.

We can think about our future, prepare for it, arm ourselves, but it is still only Today that matters.

So it’s essential that we make sure we use Today as fully as we can.

I don’t mean we should fill every waking moment, simply that we need to get our priorities right and these are different for everyone.

I decided to write my Bucket List (of Things To Do Before I kick The Bucket.)

And I’m challenging you to do the same.

So… 

• What If The End Of The world IS Nigh?
• What’s on your list?

I will add many more.

But will there be time to tick them all off?

1. Pack up all my worries, put them in a box… and bury it.
2. Learn to make a parachute jump.
3. Take a small risk every day. (Like submit a short story for publication.)
4. Learn to take my time learning a new skill. (Like mastering my new Mac book.)
5. Be more tolerant of noisy, disruptive children in public places.
6. Spend an evening with James Taylor. (Totally in my dreams…)

Thinking about My Bucket List has made me consider -

• what is important to me and what isn’t,
• what I’m putting off,
• what scares me,
• who is important to me,
• what I value,
• what kind of person am I,
• how I’d like to improve,
• what changes I can make,
• who do I want to talk to before it all ends?
• are there friendships to re-kindle?
• how am I influenced by other people?
• how independent am I?

I don’t believe for one precious moment that the end of the world is nigh.

What I do believe is that it’s important to use our time with care, thought and consideration.

Over to you…

In the Comments,

• What will you put on your Bucket List?
• What are you learning abut you as you’re writing it?

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 photo credit: Elsie esq.

Overwhelmed, in a muddle, not knowing where to start, to sort yourself out?

That was me.

Until yesterday!

I had a long drive ahead of me and was feeling overwhelmed with life in general. As I drove along I decided to use the time to give myself some much needed Life Coaching.

I know it sounds a bit of a strange strategy but it turned out to be such a good one.

Don’t know why I didn’t think about doing it before!

Sometimes the solutions to our problems are right under our noses but we need space and time to realise it.

Here’s how I used this welcome space and time to sort myself out:

What did I do?

I simply talked to myself - yes – out loud in the car!

Then I listened to myself and as a result I came to some very helpful conclusions.

Here are the 4 questions I asked myself -

1.   Tell me what’s going well in your life at the moment.

I thought about each of these areas.

Are you struggling to make the ‘right’ decision’?

The bad news is… you won’t.

But the good news is… you can make the ‘right decision’ for YOU.

More good news… there’s no such thing as a ’wrong decision’. Only a decision that you may want to change later if things don’t work out as you hoped.

Here’s a list of decisions that I have had to make, or people I know have had to make.

Should I…

• cancel my FB account?
• mend a troubled friendship?
• move house?
• leave a job I hate?
• stop drinking alcohol for a month?
• learn to enjoy exercise?
• write my first novel?
• get a dog?
• cut my hair short?
• write a controversial blog post?
• leave my university course?

Here’s how…

Start by focusing on the decision/dilemma that’s at the forefront of your mind. You know… the one that’s keeping you awake at night.

Now ask yourself these 10 questions:

1. If I decide to do ‘x’, what’s the worst that can happen?
2. What is my instinct telling me? My ‘gut feeling’?
3. Have I got too many projects on the go?
4. Will I need to drop one of them if I choose to do ‘x’?
5. If I imagine I have decided to do/not to do ‘x’, how does that make me feel?
6. Who do I know who I could discuss this dilemma with?
7. Who do I know who has been faced with the same decision to make? (But remember, they are not ‘me’.)
8. Do I need to make this decision right now, or shall I wait until I’m ready?
9. How will I feel if I procrastinate?
10. How important to me is making this decision?

In this post I asked for your help in making the decision about whether to cancel my Face Book account. I asked myself all 10 questions above and took your guidance into account.

What did I decide?

I cancelled my account yesterday and it felt right.

In the comments,

• How do you make your decisions?
• Which one are you battling with right now?
• Which decision have you made in the past and then changed?

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 photo credit: Jorge Franganillo